Saturday, August 7, 2010

...A Girl Who Has No Idea What She Wants From Life.

That's me. A girl who doesn't have a clue what she wants out of life. Or, rather, a girl who wants so many things out of life and has no idea which is most important.

Passion: Music. I'm a singer. I've been singing since I could talk, and even before I could speak actual words, my babbling was done mostly in song. Singing is an escape from everything else - I think of nothing. I leave this world for the duration of my song and enter a world that is less stressful and more understanding. I am one with the music. I am the music. The only problem with this is finding work... How I would love to make singing a career and not just a hobby. To get paid to do what I love the most. To make a living and support myself by doing the most relaxing and carefree thing I've ever done. To lose myself in my work. But that dream is far away; careers as a singer are few and far between - especially if you're looking for something that rewards you well enough that you won't be stressed about your finances. It takes more work than it's worth, some might say. But you have to want it badly enough, and believe me, I do...

Passion: Animals. I'm an animal lover. I grew up spending a lot of time in a small town in Northern Wisconsin called Amberg, where animals are abundant. Here in the city, you step into your backyard and see sparrows and squirrels. In Amberg, you step outside your back door and into a sea of wildlife. Deer. Chipmunks. Hummingbirds. Raccoons. Blue jays. Turkey. Bears. Snakes. Even the occasional mountain lion. You can walk down a hill and find a pond where you can swim with turtles, frogs, and fish. The deer will eat out of your hand if you sit still long enough. You can catch a grass snake and play with it for hours. I grew up doing these things every other weekend. I love it. A dream of mine is to be able to somehow help animals. I'd like to work in an animal hospital or a zoo. But achieving this dream would take years and years of schooling - and I haven't even started college yet.  I'm a little rusty. Would I still love to do it? Absolutely. But how possible is it, realistically?

Passion: Helping others. I love the feeling that comes from helping someone in need. From giving simple advice to saving a life, I love it all. Now don't get me wrong, it's not the feeling of being a hero that I enjoy; it's knowing that I have done a good deed. I know I would want someone to do the same for me. I love knowing that because I came along, someone feels better. So here's a possible solution: The Army. An ROTC program would help pay for college tuition while I learn about medicine. Complete school, and commission as a doctor. Doesn't sound half bad, does it? I don't think so. My only issue is that I know what it does to people when someone close to them joins the military. They're proud... and terrified. Some say it's like "signing your life away". I don't know if I believe that or not. The military has taken some important people from me, and it's about to take my boyfriend. I know what this does to the people who are left behind. Minimal contact, with no idea whether or not their soldier is alright. Constant worry. It's gruesome. But on another note... the military benefits would cover me for life. Medical expenses would be paid for me and my family, once I choose to start one. Early retirement is more than likely if I play my cards right. But how important is it to help others when your own life and future is on the line? Some might take a step back... But me, I'm actually considering it more strongly every day.

And this is what I'm talking about; so many options, and only one life. A person can't really be expected to choose ONE thing to do with their life. To all those who are my age and already know what they want out of life: Hats off to you. Congratulations, you're not as indecisive as I am. Be glad. This is tough.

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