Tuesday, August 17, 2010

...The Heartbroken.

"People are people, and sometimes we change our minds,
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time...
...And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break. No one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand.
And I can't breathe without you, but I have to..."
          - Taylor Swift

What to do in this situation? We had our time, and it was the most wonderful time of my life. I understand why you left... the timing was all wrong. But we made promises to each other. True, real promises. We never did get to try this again. The timing was always wrong. The timing is STILL wrong. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes... because I know that once we get the timing right, it's going to be perfect. WE will be perfect. But for now, I'm without you, and it's hard to breathe... but I have to.

"I will never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven."
          - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

I once had similar words spoken to me, and I believed them. I still do. I know that he would go to great lengths for me... he already has. He made proposals to me that I should have accepted, but didn't because I didn't think I was ready... And now I look back on it and all I want is all he offered me a year ago. But regardless of what my answer was, I know he still cares for me deeply. If I didn't feel the same, you wouldn't be reading this.

"And I'd give it all away
To have someone to come home to."
          - Linkin Park

You have no idea the things I would give up just to be able to jump into your arms right now. To come home, see your face, run to you, and hold you like I never have to let go. My life would be so different. I'm not sure where we would be, but as long as we could be there together, I wouldn't really care... But once again - the timing is all wrong.

"I'll still be thinkin' of you and the times we had.
Don't you cry tonight, I still love you Baby.
...And please remember that I never lied,
And please remember how I felt inside.
And don't you cry tonight. I still love you Baby."
          - Guns 'n' Roses

This is self explanatory, but I'll explain anyway just in case any of you have some things going right over your head. If You are reading this, here's the big one: I still love you, Baby. Very much. More than you can imagine. I think about you every moment that I'm awake and I dream of you every single night. I've been completely honest with you about everything, including how I feel, even though it might hurt that the timing is wrong AGAIN. But I still love you. Remember that, and be happy; when the time is right, I'll be waiting and willing.

So let's get one thing straight. This whole "timing" thing is really killing me. We're both with other people, and both of us happy... but I truly do believe that I belong with you. For the rest of my life I will believe that. He may make me happy now, but you've always been The One and we both know it. She may make you happy for the time being, but we both know she's no Me. I don't even care how stuck up that sounds... She can't be the one for you because that position was filled a long time ago. We both know it, and in time we will be ready for each other again.

"That's what we do. We fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch, and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass. Which you are 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a two second rebound rate and you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard, and we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I wanna do that because I want you. I want all of you; forever; you and me; everyday."
          - The Notebook

If that doesn't say it for you, nothing will.

I love you. <3

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